monsters under my bed

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just when you think you have finally shut the doors, they fling open and in comes a torrent of memories you have decided to forget about a long long time ago.

i wish i thought to install a gate valve..so that now i can shut the waterworks off. too late now. cork’s been popped. i can’t sleep.

yesterday i was telling someone how to deal with sleeping problems. now i have the same problem. if i wasn’t so concerned about waking him up, i’d call him now just to have someone to talk to until i get sleepy. i could really use some sensible talk at this point. nothing sounds coherent in my head. deep rumblings of utter nonsense that i am unable to dismiss by flicking thoughts out the window. they keep bouncing back and the echoes have reached a deafening decibel.

so now i cower in fear. i quake. as i sit here, i wish i had someone who would hold my hand tell me that things won’t go bad like that again. someone gentle..and kind..who will soothe this stupid brain of mine so that i can go to dreamland. but then a tiny voice in my head seems to tell me that’s how i got into this crappy state of mind to begin with. then again, what do i know? i am almost certain that a five year old will be more sensible to talk to at this point.

i wish i was a kid again. then the ghostbusters will be able to fix my troubles. then i’ll fall asleep. then tomorrow when i wake up, i probably won’t remember a thing.

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Filed under Acceptance, Afraid of the dark, Blah.blah.blah., Fear of the Dark, Sleeping Problems, Sleeping with the lights on, Worried, when in doubt