My hands are old.

My hands are old. They’re not 25 like me. The skin is thick from too many scars. The veins are swollen from repeated IV insertions. They have dark spots from where jellies and other unidentified ocean creatures stung me. The lead from the mechanical pencil that my old classmate jabbed me with has turned into [...]

Read Full Post »

He keeps looking at the time when he’s with me. I finally asked him about it again about an hour ago. He got mad again. Raised his voice too. I said nothing. Sat on the couch and cried. I just wanted to stop feeling so bad. I really want to understand why he does that. [...]

Read Full Post »

Touch and Go

When he touched the flesh of the clam his body jerked. Apparently the clam shut so suddenly he panicked. I watched as he collected himself, and showed him that there was nothing to fear. I caressed the clam’s flesh while he watched in awe. I offered my hand to steady him. He took it. I [...]

Read Full Post »

Money Makes Her World Go Round

I feel so strongly about this, because money can’t buy happiness or love. (Which for me would be the little things that help you deal with all the crap life has to offer.) She told me that I betrayed her because she was not giving me money. She told me that I revealed the truth [...]

Read Full Post »

RJ

I picked up the receiver and this guy says to me that he was calling from a call center that prayed for people. I was stunned. He proceeds by introducing himself, his name was RJ and would I happen to want anything that he can pray for. Strange. Is this God calling? This stranger over [...]

Read Full Post »

Entrapment

An imprint refuses to let me go. It has taken hold of me, invading my thoughts even as I walk, awake and consciously struggling to get rid of it.

Read Full Post »

Slipping Away

There is a change in me the i know of, but to acknowledge it would mean defeat. I refuse to accept I am changing that way, and yet each moment that passes is testament to a truth I can’t deny. i have choices to make that have not been laid out for me, and yet [...]

Read Full Post »

Ferdie’s Team

Diving pulled me out of my sorry stupor. Indeed. After the week of assisting these boys in SCUBA class (all the way through check-out) I can honestly say that I felt happy. Maybe things really are going to get better for me. Last Wednesday (August 16, 2006) I met them on their first pool session. [...]

Read Full Post »

Touch

..and this nine month old baby boy reaches out with his saliva covered hand and rubs the side of my face..as if it was not enough, he lifts that hand and rubs his palm on my forehead, my nose, all the way down to my mouth. for a moment I felt better about being me. [...]

Read Full Post »

A Bit of Luck in the Kitchen

I’ve been lucky in the kitchen during the past couple of weeks. I was able to serve good meals! (lucky mister!) Of course I want strangers to know how I did it. We had the Bow Ties in Tomato Sauce. As you can see in this photo there wasn’t too much sauce. We like simple [...]

Read Full Post »

To Be Everywhere

I wish I could spend an entire year on vacation with enough money to eat well and get around. I want to taste food from far away places. I’d like to live with an Italian fisherman for a week. I want to work in a French winery, where they still make wine the old way. [...]

Read Full Post »