Tossing and Turning

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I am being tossed about. Much like a buoy tied off at sea. I feel the waves crash over me time and again. It washes over me relentlessly there’s hardly time to breathe.

I hate that he took matters into his own hands. I have always believed that we made that decision as a couple, as partners, as lovers. I hate feeling tricked. It was probably not his intent, but I cannot help feeling this way.

He has trapped me into a choice he made by himself and it is so unfair.

While I do want it, I do not want it yet. I am convinced that it is not time yet. That we must wait a bit more. He couldn’t wait anymore and so took matters into his own rash hands.

It feels so wrong to be tied to something that I am not ready to be tied to just yet.  It feels like cannon balls chained to my ankles already.

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Filed under alone and lonely, betrayed, unkept promise