Everyone my age that I know has grown. Most of them like ladies on tv or magazines. Not that I watch much or read fashion magazines at all. I could never look like that. But sometimes, I would like to.
Sometimes I see women at the mall and go, geez, why can’t I walk like a girl that way? Or I see their hair, swaying perfectly with every step. Much unlike my messy mop of boy-hair. I can never get it to look combed, even when I do make the effort to comb it. Worse yet is the brush. It seems, that when I do brush my hair, brushing only succeeds in making it a poofy afro-hair kind of mess. And I really really look like the ageing housewife then.
Housewife. I’m in denial. I like to think that I am doing something helping this Mister with such and such things, but honestly. I’m the sometimes stay at home without a day job. But I like that I can assist scuba classes and scribble my days away. I am trying so hard to believe that I can draw and paint and do all sorts of artsy-fartsy stuff with my hands. Like the stars on the tree this year. No one else could’ve imagined doing that..and they’re all glittering like the stuff my childhood dreams were made of.
Little dreams. Little. If I could just wear heels and get that lady walk right. If I could just get that perfect haircut that never turns into a mess. If I could just look like a girl one day a week, everything is going to be a wee bit better.
As you can tell, it’s the hormones talking again. Not me.
2 Comments
Tuesday, November 27, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I so hear you. I have quality second knees which means I have to wear flat soled, sensible shoes most of the time. There was a brief flirtation with spike heels when I stopped work – work involved running round bus stations and airports, well tricky in high heels – but soon I fell over and buggered my ligaments again and an immediate return to granny shoes followed. The knee problems make me walk weird too, sashaying like a proper girl hurts and I’m a brillo head so most of the time my hair looks like 1970s Neil Diamond on a particularly frizzy day.
So although you may be hormonal, I guess what I’m saying is… you’re not alone, my friend! I hope that makes you feel a bit better!
Cheers
BC
Friday, December 14, 2007 at 12:49 pm
honestly, I’m a girl, I just don’t always look like one!