for lack of words

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I am feeling blah at the moment. Blah is not even a word. I cannot describe how I feel. It seems akin to annoyance but I’m really not annoyed. I’d like to say I pretty much understand but, I really don’t.

I imagine I am teeter-tottering between words and as such there are no adjectives to describe how I feel. I think.

But then I am always in the middle of two worlds and I am confused as to whether I would like to invite the other to come on over and just live with all the universes of my mind.

Yesterday I slaved away from eight in the morning until six in the evening and did not finish what I was meant to finish. I use the word meant because had I not succumbed to staring into space and slowing down time in my head I would have finished the damned thing. But never mind because I can try again.

There is a boy who gives me weird one liners for lack of things to say. It feels strange when he looks at me from underneath the hair falling on his face. He hasn’t even asked my name.

I met some girls who find my work neat and tidy. When I look at my stuff I can see the mess that I made and I’m unable to comprehend the neatness that they refer to.

For someone who lacks words this post is awfully long.

I had sushi and sashimi with the Mister last night and it made me forget that I was tired and cranky. He knew my moods better than I did. The salmon sashimi melted in my mouth in all of its creamy glory. The mass produced sesame ice cream mochi ball from Magnolia sealed the deal. The Mister’s face crinkled in disgust when I stuffed his mouth with the sesame ice cream mochi. He said it reminded him of something else that he didn’t like. I had two sesame mochi balls I love it for the pleasant oddness of the flavor.

After dinner I walked home dead tired and stripped the moment I walked into our home. I plopped on to the couch and flipped through a magazine listlessly while the Mister made calls.

I don’t even know why I’m writing about all this like it was something important. It all just came tumbling out.

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