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but is it fair to God that I call Him out when I’m in dire straights? I do thank Him, but I always feel it’s not enough.

Sometimes I don’t even know how I feel about the God up there. I get mad, I cry, I hate Him, I like Him. Who knows what the hormones will bring?

Sometimes I think He’s my outlet - someone to praise and blame as the moment suggests. I can’t even call myself Catholic for all the things I’ve done. Needless to say, I did a whack job trying to grow up so that now I don’t even know what I am to my God.

Does this mean I’m going to hell?

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