is to let go of the ghosts from the life already lived.
is to eat all the wonderful food and indulge in a feast for the senses.
is to walk along the sunny shoreline with the ocean gently lapping at my feet.
is to sleep and dream at night so that I can wake up with renewed hope in the morning.
is to feel like the world is not about to end.
is to feel like I am part of something bigger than myself.
is to know the difference between dying and living because it all feels the same.
is to create an opportunity that will make my change happen.
is to stop waiting and just grab my answers.
is to make God say something to me because all this waiting feels hopeless.
is to get rid of the vicious cyst.
is to swim in the clear blue waters and watch my fish friends and forget about my stupid life.
is to be with somebody who can make me a little less lonely, a little less hurt and a little less tired.
is to see the vastness of the world so that I can remember how tiny I am and forget about all my troubles.
is to dive into the deep blue where sickness, work and the ghosts cannot touch me.
is to stop thinking about work, get away from demanding clients and business partners because all the work won’t matter when the vicious one comes to get me.
is to pretend to sleep on a hot summer afternoon in in my grandmother’s bed while she tirelessly waved her fan to protect me from the heat.
is to go fishing in our lost farm with my half a dozen makeshift fishing rods and half can of worms from pig poop.
is not feel like a sinking island.
is not feel like an active volcano, constantly molten and waiting to explode.
is cry until my tears are gone so that I will never ever cry again.
is keep going to pilates class because it makes me feel better about being alive.
is to take out the vicious one before it takes me out.
is be sedated because I can’t seem to stop.
