bad omen

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I got a call today from my ex from 1997. He sounded nice and kind and wanted to know how I was doing. I think peace has finally come between us.

It was a bad breakup because I was bad. I was horrible. And then a few years into college (right before the non-ex) I called him and tried to say sorry but he would have none of it. (but I’m not sure if I remember that right.)

I think that call from him making peace, is a sign of something not good for me.
I’m scared about any number of things that are about to happen, things that will change my life either way. And this peace thing, and all the nice warm friends I have all around..it’s freaking me out.

I texted the Mister and told him it feels like I’m going to die soon or something. All these weird things happening all around..perfect meals and unbelievably warm text messages from people. I’m sure it’s paranoia, after all, bad people like me always live to be a hundred.

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